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Friday, May 16, 2014

How I Ate My Thumb.

7 Ways How Every Single Indian Needs To Change.


So, India has created history. We have a new Prime Minister. The world is as excited as we have a new rule about not wearing underwears anymore. Really, this is a 5-year process, how exciting can it be?

First of all, we are NOT a billion voters. Not yet. So Indian media and the rest of the world should stop ogling at that pseudo fact. Second, a Prime Minister (with all due to respect to his charisma and speech delivery capabilities), can only change as much. If Indians want to see change, YOU need to change. Yes, every single Indian, atleast the ones who are blessed enough to be reading this note, needs to change. If you don't know how, I have a clear list of seven points for guidance:

1. Indians (Media folks not included here as this is beyond their imagination) need to start thinking positively. Howmuchever impossible it might look to be, I think it's humanly possible to look at all the good things happening all around you - Indian space craft, Indian army power, Indian medical advancements, Indian banking capabilities, Indian software expertise, the improved availability of electricity, the increasing reach of education...if nothing else, look at the beauty of a million people living together without mass blood shed! So on and so forth. The world is not as bad.

2. Respect. Does that word sound familiar? Indians need to respect time, other's opinions, other's capabilities and life in general. Just the way a typical Indian crosses a busy road proves how much respect there is for his / her own bloody life! We need to respect every existence around us a little more. If Australia is a developed nation, respect that. That might be because they gave up their army capabilities to USA, but the Australian citizens are very happy today. Respect that.

3. Women are human beings. Oh! Sorry I touched a wrong note. But believe it or not, if a woman is not fair, and still not interested in you, doesn't mean she is a whore. There is a strong possibility of something called as 'personality' that she might have. Accept that. Look at her as a little more than how good she would be in bed, with the lights on.

Please try and walk past a woman wearing hot pants without turning your head all the way around.

4. Marriage is not the end objective in life. You weren't born to get married. If someone is 40years old and happily dating, it is ok. Deepika Padukone dated multiple people, it is ok. Men sleep with multiple partners, and so do women. It is OKAY. Ask your neighbor to shut up. Look at what makes you happy. Fall in love, fall out of love. As #Shantaram says, nothing teaches better than one half of a great love that wasn't meant to be.


5. Life IS about comfort. You need to do everything that makes your day to day life comfortable. Anything that makes life feel better - is comfort. Get it. There is a fine line between comfort and luxury. If I want to stay with the AC on 24hrs on a day as hot as 45deg Celsius, it is comfort, not luxury. If I want all my taps to be running hot water on a day as cold as 2deg Celsius, it is comfort, not luxury. Tell your mom that. And start paying electricity bills.


6. Engineering is not the end of the world. A photographer can be smarter than an engineer. A make-up artist is more creative than a doctor. A travel blogger is more learned than a scientist. Please accept that. India being the youngest country in the world, it is on our shoulders today to not make our next generation fall in the same trap as we were in...or historically all Indians have been. Let us strive to be literate, and excel in what we like to do than just pure education, marks, ranks, stamps. Someone needs to stand up and change this.


7. Patience. Last but the most. I understand, we are closer to equator and we are hot blooded. But I think if we follow the above six points, it is possible to be happier in life and hence more patient. It is ok if you step inside that cinema hall, elevator, metro or any door after 5.4 seconds. Let the one in front of you enter first. Similarly, on the roads - if Indians were to follow lanes, respect traffic lights, indicate, turn sensibly, stop at designated areas and mind their own business (oh shit!), we will be such a happier lot today!


India was once a golden bird. There was so much treasure here, it wouldn't finish for one thousand years of invasion. We were the first civilization in history. India was performing nose jobs when science did not exist. Tipu Sultan had missile launches when wars did not exist. India gave math to the world. We came up with Yoga. What happened? Where are we today? And why? I would continue to seek my answers...


Sunday, June 26, 2011

Blatant Revelations....Finally!

10 ways of meeting men for Gen 2.0
All single ladies out there...have you ever felt, that you are "over the age of making friends"? Have you ever thought, "how am I ever going to meet my man", 'coz none of those school/college boys and tuition friends are good enough? This, should be interesting for you then...

From some of my personal, and some borrowed, but an absolute real set of ways of meeting your Mr.Right - I can think of atleast ten new ways of bumping into a man that can share your dreams. All you have to do is, be open to it.

1. Airport - Now you ALWAYS have full 45mins here before you board, unless you are taking an international flight (that only gives you more). Watch out for a man watching you here. If you are open to a talk, he'll sure come by and swing his business card...
2. Theatre / Cinema hall - Have you ever had a group of guys giggling & noticing you at a theatre? What about if they end up sitting next to you! This is full <minimum> 2hrs for them to talk some. I am not promoting share your mobile number right here. But take his!
3. Night Club / Bar - Believe it or not, good men also go to night clubs. The best place ...Don't look at everyone who walks upto you as a jerk. Believe me, it takes balls to do that. Appreciate it, and then...the boy might even be good looking! ;-)
4. Inside a plane - One of the only places where you have captive minimum 1.5hrs with the person next to you. Like I said, be open. All he has to do is be good looking and speak well. Aint it?
P.S. This is one of the personals...if the guy is reading this, he would know what I am talking about!
5. Gym - Oh yea, this too! Some good hulks come here ladies. Look out. How about your personal trainer himself? :)
6. Public Transport - Metros? You see the same guy catching the same train / bus at the same time every single day. And he is noticing you. Great start.
7. Hitch - Another Ripleys, this one. Believe me, I have given one and I have gotten one. Both cases, the luck was good. Great infact. Now beware here, you have to make some snap decisions - judging the person from clothes, accessories, look etc. This can be dangerous.
8. Neighbors - Now this is nothing new, I have seen neighbors get married for donkey yrs. But how much do we actually look out in our neighborhood these days? This is another great place for a start. Great.
9. Salsa - Oh boy! This can be joined only by couples...and every second guy here is looking for a partner. Join Now!
10. SOCIAL NETWORKING - Do I say more? This shit works ladies! Facebook is what everyone says, but my full-hearted vote goes to LinkedIn :)

Now I am really not advocating distributing your mobile number or P.O.Boxes to every cute looking guy out there. You obviously have to make a lot of decisions...well, and <hopefully> only one of these will work for each. So no distribution. Be careful, but not shut down for being over cautious. And then you might not get married to every guy you meet, but then, what the heck! That's not always what we are looking at right? Ladies, tell me how it was! :)

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Can we get rid of those oggling men in this country?

Try sari in a night-club in India!!

Dark - fair, young - middle aged, covered - non-covered, rich - poor...women in India can find fan-following everywhere in India! How good is that ladies?

For the fact that I wear western clothes, my hair is still black and I live alone...I have come to a point where I find it annoying when men pretend they are interested...seriously! Though saying "no" 8 times in one night was something that happened after a VERY long time...

This was in Bangalore. It was 11.30PM, in a 5-star I won't name...the club that was made to look shut down from outside. And when you enter it...oh boy! The blunder I made was walk in a sari....the DJ would shut down after every 1 hour, and open only on the condition that all ladies in the house will have flaming shots on the bar counter. Well...ofcourse I was obeying! So in a sari, drunk...and with my bosses....I was there drinking, dancing, fighting, making faces...

There came the 1st guy...."Excuse me. You are wearing a sari (Oh really? I dint even notice! :-| ). Can I buy you a drink" (as if that made any sense!). "No" was all I said. about 12mins later, another one - "Hey! My friend there says you are dancing very well. I agree with him. Can I pls dance with you". (oh that...huh f*** off) "No" was all I said. In 24mins...another one - "Maam, I don't want to sound intruding, but can I pls dance with you?" (f***! You are so unique!) "No" was all I said. And another one, and another. By 2.00AM, I had to call two bouncers and ask them to stand around the pillar where our big group was semi-stationed.

I have started disliking night clubs in India... <<damn!>>

Friday, May 6, 2011

Women buying beer from local stores in India...

Is it a crime I was made a woman? On top of that, I am considerably young\...AND I happen to be a beer drinker!!
My first time buying alcohol from a local store was in Pune...since I knew NOONE...and I needed some beer...April'10 was my first experience! Women...are you listening?
So I am driving back from work. This young store owner, terribly busy at 7pm on a fri, stops to look  - A young chick, formal trouser, button-down tucked-in shirt, belt, high heels, walking out of a ford, comes upto him and looks. The store is over flowing with local men. More than the crowd, I was conscious of the owner (atleast he looked like one!). The commotion at the store stops. Every-freakin-body turns around. Oops! I speak loudly, Tuborg? The owner-like guy nods. "3 bottles". "Rs.180...pulees". Every other motion is still at a stand still...."here...thank you!". The bottles kinkling in that little black bag, a bunch of drunkards whispering and owner staring...I leave....
Boy! I swore to myself...never again! Fuck this!
What happens next is unbelievable...stay tuned.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Ladies...you thought you've run out of option??

Ladies...In India,still single... Hi!

Did you ever think you were dying a single? You don't "love" the idea of an arranged wedding, and you don't "love" a man as of now...you were (according to Indian standards) about age...and still a single? What! Well, you are not alone sweetheart...read on...

Millions of urban women in India today, are made to feel like shit, only 'coz they are over 25yrs of age, and nowhere close to getting married! Is this all women are made for? Fuck NO! Do you agree? You know, you can meet a man in a plane, on a street, or a club...and believe me, even today, he can be THE man...

Follow me...am going to talk of all my personal experiences very soon...ciao!